Thursday, March 25, 2010
WH
"Last night, I was on the threshold of hell. To-day, I am within sight of my heaven. I have my eyes on it: hardly three feet to sever me!
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Dancehall
I went to a dance hall class today and the instructor whooped my ass. I hadn't been so exhausted after a dance session in so long, but I gobbled up every single second of it. "Vitamin S" came on and it just took me back to the day when I'd bug out with my friends, heel toe, signal da plane, dutty wine and all.
I think it's pretty clear that my monthly April commitment is going to take a dance class regularly. Salsa, Dance Hall, Reggae. Soca, Merengue, Bachata, STEPPING. I can't get enough of it all. Kids have all types of coping strategies, and for me my escape was always dancing. I danced till I couldn't dance anymore, I'd dance it all away, I'd be myself, feeling my body move to my emotions, and nothing else in the world would matter. Just that moment. Just me and the music.
I think it's pretty clear that my monthly April commitment is going to take a dance class regularly. Salsa, Dance Hall, Reggae. Soca, Merengue, Bachata, STEPPING. I can't get enough of it all. Kids have all types of coping strategies, and for me my escape was always dancing. I danced till I couldn't dance anymore, I'd dance it all away, I'd be myself, feeling my body move to my emotions, and nothing else in the world would matter. Just that moment. Just me and the music.
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Cats in a round room
I was not able to update this blog, because updating this blog while Del is here is unacceptable.
Saturday, March 20, 2010
APLA
The worst thing about training is having to wake up so god damn early. Granted, I should just go to sleep earlier to make up for it, but it's difficult on a Friday night. Plus, waking up at 6am is never good.
if any one is out there reading. Donate some $ for my marathon, I'm behind schedule and anything would help. :)
http://apla.convio.net/site/TR/Events/NationalAIDSMarathonTrainingProgram-MARATHONONLY?px=1448041&pg=personal&fr_id=1061
Hope everyone is sleeping tight. I'm def gonna KO in 5 seconds.
if any one is out there reading. Donate some $ for my marathon, I'm behind schedule and anything would help. :)
http://apla.convio.net/site/TR/Events/NationalAIDSMarathonTrainingProgram-MARATHONONLY?px=1448041&pg=personal&fr_id=1061
Hope everyone is sleeping tight. I'm def gonna KO in 5 seconds.
Thursday, March 18, 2010
NY
When I think about NYC I get so nostalgic. I’m planning to take a small break and go visit the second week of April. The thing is, I have never missed NYC and the people there as much before as I do now. Not only do I find myself thinking regularly about those I care about, and of memories we share in places all around NYC (places I probably know too well), but I get thrilled when I think about all that I have yet to do, and the people I have yet to meet.
The strongest feeling, above all, is the feeling to reconnect. Lately, lots of childhood friends have been finding me on Facebook, and although they were around when I was in high school and in college (those rare few times I was even in NYC), I just now want to do something about it. I have no idea who they may have become, but I can’t help but have a sense, that childhood friends are the ones you share some of your best memories with. Before the adult life, before social pressure, before insecurities, before the world hit you, you were you. It’s almost like these friends became time capsules of my former self.
I want to connect with family members who were in Brooklyn and Little Italy and who I never got to interact with. I want to meet my aunts, my uncles, my cousins, one who was scouted out to the MLB and another who graduated from Columbia. Who are they? What are they like? I even have that same feeling of comfort around those I don’t even know. They are family, I should be able to be myself around them, and I look forward to meeting them.
I miss my family, my friends (old and new), I miss the projects.
I miss New Yawk.
The strongest feeling, above all, is the feeling to reconnect. Lately, lots of childhood friends have been finding me on Facebook, and although they were around when I was in high school and in college (those rare few times I was even in NYC), I just now want to do something about it. I have no idea who they may have become, but I can’t help but have a sense, that childhood friends are the ones you share some of your best memories with. Before the adult life, before social pressure, before insecurities, before the world hit you, you were you. It’s almost like these friends became time capsules of my former self.
I want to connect with family members who were in Brooklyn and Little Italy and who I never got to interact with. I want to meet my aunts, my uncles, my cousins, one who was scouted out to the MLB and another who graduated from Columbia. Who are they? What are they like? I even have that same feeling of comfort around those I don’t even know. They are family, I should be able to be myself around them, and I look forward to meeting them.
I miss my family, my friends (old and new), I miss the projects.
I miss New Yawk.
The Line
I wrote this a while ago, thought I'd bring it up:
It is very difficult to define ourselves. If there was nothing in the world besides ourselves we would have absolutely no identity. The concept of existence starts with the floor; the boundary which distinguishes ground from air, and up from down. The more elements that we add in our environment the more we are able to define who we are. When it comes to our personalities there is no exception. We only know ourselves because there are other humans around. We learn to define our personality by what we are not and by what people perceive us to be; much in the same way the floor determines what is grounded and what is not. On the other hand, while I cannot define myself without the presence of any environment, I am egocentric. The world I live in only exists because I am living. It is therefore rightly mine. I create how I view the world, myself, other people. I make decisions for myself and absolutely always choose ones that benefit me; because it's my life. Conflict arises with recognition that there are 6 billion other people in the world, who are also just as real as I am. The way of the world is to acknowledge these differences, not imposing the decisions which are best for me, on other people. In this way, I do “good” by trying to do no harm; by both worshiping and fearing the control that I have, I have become who I am.
It is very difficult to define ourselves. If there was nothing in the world besides ourselves we would have absolutely no identity. The concept of existence starts with the floor; the boundary which distinguishes ground from air, and up from down. The more elements that we add in our environment the more we are able to define who we are. When it comes to our personalities there is no exception. We only know ourselves because there are other humans around. We learn to define our personality by what we are not and by what people perceive us to be; much in the same way the floor determines what is grounded and what is not. On the other hand, while I cannot define myself without the presence of any environment, I am egocentric. The world I live in only exists because I am living. It is therefore rightly mine. I create how I view the world, myself, other people. I make decisions for myself and absolutely always choose ones that benefit me; because it's my life. Conflict arises with recognition that there are 6 billion other people in the world, who are also just as real as I am. The way of the world is to acknowledge these differences, not imposing the decisions which are best for me, on other people. In this way, I do “good” by trying to do no harm; by both worshiping and fearing the control that I have, I have become who I am.
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