Change

Behavior change is very difficult. Behaviors are a physical manifestation of our thoughts, and our thoughts are shaped by our experiences. As time progresses and after repeated similar experiences, our mind learns and begins to create a framework for how we think, and naturally, the actions we will take. Our behaviors become stereotyped and a blueprint is created: a very accurate predictor of us. The image of who we are to others. Through time we have created and established a specific way in which we think and therefore act. This framework is reinforced every time we behave how our framework predicts we will, and like a positive feedback loop, like Pavlov’s dogs, we teach ourselves, condition ourselves, to reinforce these behaviors, both good and bad. We can now predict how we will behave, because we have trained ourselves to think (and therefore behave), in the same way all the time. At times the behaviors become so natural and effortless, that when you actually step outside of this habit, when you make a conscious effort to change, you feel as if you’re not yourself. But really, what do you expect? You feel out of character because in reality you are. You are going outside of the framework, the stereotyped thoughts and behaviors which for years you have followed, to do something new.

This becomes a problem because sometimes in our lives we find ourselves in situations where we want to change. We find ourselves in unwanted, strangely familiar situations over and over again. But if we fail to realize that this déjà vu scenario results from our own actions and not just “a thing that keeps happening”, and if we also fail to realize we have trained and primed ourselves to think and act a certain way our entire lives, we miss the point that it is our behavior (and more importantly our thoughts) which have been the culprit all along. Without knowing, we have been doing the same thing over and over again, and have expected different results.

So we begin our work. Where do we start? The behavior itself is just the measurable action, but the measurable action is that of the mind. The mind must therefore change before the action will. We reconstruct our framework, we tailor it to our desired change, and we practice. We practice. Once again we train and condition ourselves until the behavior becomes so natural and effortless, that when we actually step outside of this habit, when we make a conscious effort to revert back to our old behavior, we’ll feel that we’re not ourselves. But really, what do you expect? You’ll feel out of character because in reality you are. You’ll be going outside of the framework, the new stereotyped thoughts and behaviors you have taught yourself to follow, to do something old.